Just hope you know.

Today has been a fucked up day for me. I got no idea why am I feeling this shit now. I'm having mixed feelings about everything around me. I'm confused. Yes, I'm choosing blogging to tell my feelings out. Bare with me if you don't understand.

I always try and try to be the best myself could be but hey, no one is perfect. Up to this point now, I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. But I can't just call it a quit like this. I can't stop now. I need to go on. I need to move forward instead of stopping at the moment to think. I use too much time to think. I just have to stop thinking. Get myself away from distraction and do what I can do the best.

I need a gateway. I feel like I need to runaway from the reality now. Yes, just for a while. I need to be at somewhere alone. Somewhere with no one and I can think nicely. I just need to find a place to think about what's going on. Some place where I can ease my mind. Its hard to stay around. For now, I just need to get away. Just for a moment, please?

But then again, I can't just leave now and put everything behind. I have to just get back up and continue moving till the end. I know I can't leave now. If i leave now, everyone will be dissapointed on my action. I need to grow up already and I'm trying to do what I can do.

At the end of the day, once I done everything I could, I hope someone could say to me "Yes I know you did your very best and I'm proud of you." Sometimes, it just a statement, for me it gives me happiness. It gives me confidence to continue on. I dont need people to scold me and keep telling me whats the best. I just need a word of confidence that you believe in me. I just hope you do.

I'm hoping for the best now. Just the best and that's about it.